


5 People Merlin Loved

by FallingRose



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 5 Things, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur Pendragon Returns (Merlin), F/M, Fluff, Just let our boy be happy, M/M, Merlin is sad, William Shakespeare was bi, You can pry that truth from my cold dead hands, nothing graphic though, warning for mild suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25417288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingRose/pseuds/FallingRose
Summary: Five People Merlin Loved + Arthur Returns
Relationships: Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin)/William Shakespeare, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Will (Merlin)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 95





	5 People Merlin Loved

Over the course of Merlin’s infinitely long lifetime, he loved five people.

1.  
The first was Will- his first love, his childhood best friend, the only one besides his mother who knew about his magic, and the only one who didn’t fear it. They would spend hours together, wreaking havoc throughout Ealdor, trouble makers at heart. They fumbled through their first kiss in the woods surrounding Ealdor, all teeth, awkward angles, tongue, and mess, and yet they didn’t mind. Years passed and they became even more inseparable. Despite their general lack of subtlety in life, they were skilled at hiding their relationship, knowing they would be cast out if any of the villagers found out. Merlin already had enough trouble fitting in as it was. But Will was the first one who truly made Merlin feel normal. So they stuck to secret kisses behind trees and quick fumbles when Hunith was away. Though they would be mortified to know that Hunith knew exactly what was going on when she left the house.

  
When Merlin had to leave for Camelot, Will was devastated and covered that devastation with a thick layer of fury. Merlin and Will engaged in an explosive fight the night before he left that ended with them tumbling into Merlin’s bed, both determined to leave their mark on the other. In a moment of rare vulnerability, Will quietly asked Merlin to stay. Merlin said nothing. When morning came, they curled together in bed, both ignoring that this would be the last time they saw each other for a long time until Hunith told Merlin it was time to go.

  
Letters were sent back and forth though they eventually tapered off as Merlin became busier and busier in Camelot. When Will died, Merlin cried for days and locked himself in his room when he wasn’t working for Arthur.

2.  
The next was Freya. Beautiful, sweet Freya who made him feel less alone in Camelot where it felt like his entire life was veiled in lies. Freya felt like an escape and Merlin was in love with the idea of a life with her. His days felt like a blur where he was just going through the motions until he could go down and see her again. She was beautiful and fragile, fierce and strange, and all he wanted was to take care of her. Her kiss ignited a gentle warmth within him. Merlin fell in love with the idea of running away from his ever-looming destiny and living out his days beside a lake with Freya by his side. He imagined a future filled with magic, freedom, and strawberries.

  
Little did he know that Freya would end up in her lake, Merlin just wouldn’t be with her.

3.  
Gwaine was a special case. Gwaine was his best friend and he loved him, though he wasn’t in love with him. They would spend many nights together and sought comfort in each other’s arms. Gwaine made him laugh and feel safe. With Gwaine, Merlin felt like being different wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, that he was worth more than his destiny. Gwaine would pin him against the castle wall and attack his neck with kisses and bites and inch his way down Merlin’s body until Merlin’s head smacked against the wall in pleasure. Gwaine tasted like ale, apples, and something uniquely Gwaine.

  
They were devoted to each other, but they were also observant. Merlin noticed how closely Gwaine followed Percival the same way Gwaine noticed how Merlin’s eyes strayed to a certain golden-haired prat. When the time came, Merlin gladly stepped back to allow Percival to love Gwaine in a way Merlin never could. At Gwaine’s funeral, Percival and Merlin sat together and mourned. Percival gave Merlin Gwaine’s necklace which he wears to this day as a reminder of the best friend who supported and loved him and to whom Merlin wished he could have said goodbye.

4.  
In the late 1500s, Merlin attended a play which is where he met William. William was a literary genius who enraptured Merlin with his words. William was a blatant flirt who reminded Merlin of Gwaine, which was maybe why he didn’t deny him when William invited him to see his next play. Merlin attending his plays turned into kisses backstage, falling into bed at the local inn, and having the most delightful conversations. He woke up a feeling of life in Merlin that had long been dormant. William wrote Merlin sonnets, signed “With Love, W.S” which Merlin preserved with his magic. In exchange, Merlin helped provide William with ideas for his plays; he would later wonder if this was why many of William’s most well-known works were tragedies.

  
He was a little bit insane- all geniuses are in Merlin’s opinion- which might be why Merlin told him the truth. About his magic, about Camelot, about all the adventures and sorrows, about meeting Arthur, saving his life so many times, the way it felt to hold Morgana in his arms as she slowly choked on the poison he gave her, the flowers and kindness of Gwen, about the hilarity of Arthur braying like a donkey, about Gwain, Will, Freya, and Arthur and the way it felt to have him bleed out in his arms. About all of the events that came after that, the deaths of his remaining friends, the reign of Queen Guinevere the Kind, the fall of Camelot, and living through the ages alone. And William believed every word. He stayed up with Merlin and listened, letting Merlin cry for the first time in hundreds of years. Afterward, Merlin showed him his magic. William’s favorite was the horses Merlin made out of their dying fire embers late into the night.

  
He was the first person Merlin genuinely loved since Arthur died. Even now Merlin has a copy of all of his works, the sonnets he wrote for him well preserved and protected, and once in awhile Merlin would go see a show, especially the plays that Merlin himself had influenced, and let himself remember.

5.  
And then there’s Arthur. Despite it sounding cliché, it was always Arthur. Merlin loved him even in Camelot when he was completely unattainable for a number of reasons. They were two sides of the same coin and each other’s destiny. Merlin fell in love with his bravery, his hidden kindness, his stubbornness, his nobleness, his everything. Merlin sat and watched as Arthur fell in love with Gwen, playing the part of the supportive friend, but feeling his heart breaking inside. Still, he remained steadfast by his side. Arthur was his king, his heart, his other half- Merlin could never leave him.

  
When Arthur died the only thing keeping Merlin going was Kilgharrah’s promise that he would rise again. Years passed, then decades, then centuries, then millennia. Merlin desperately wrote and drew everything he remembered of Camelot as his memories of the time began to fade. He could no longer remember Gwen’s smile or the taste of his mother’s baking on the rare month where she could afford to make bread. He couldn’t remember the feel of Gwaine’s hair, the light in Lancelot’s eyes, or the smell of Gaius’s chambers. And most desperately, he couldn’t remember the sound of Arthur’s laughter. The day he reached for the sound and his mind drew a blank, Merlin despaired. He sat on the edge of Avalon and cried. It was the first time he considered stepping into the lake until his feet could no longer touch the ground.

  
Years went by and Merlin began to wonder what it would take for Arthur to come back. He couldn’t imagine anything worse than the second World War. He will forever be haunted by the smell of smoke and gas, the sight of people who were too thin being lined up to die, and children doing back-breaking labor or being sent to the gas chambers. He prayed to any deity that would listen for Arthur to return, to come back and fix this but still, he did not rise.

  
Merlin was losing hope. It wasn’t until almost an additional century later however that he completely lost the hope that he had desperately clung to for over two thousand years. He stood in the lake of Avalon screaming at Freya to just take him already. To hand over Excalibur so he could just end it. When nothing happened and the lake stood devastatingly still, Merlin collapsed in on himself. His grief was so palpable the earth shook and the magic that had slowly reduced from the world returned with a vengeance, weeping for its ward in a massive storm. Merlin screamed and cried and shook and was so caught up in his emptiness he didn’t notice the surface of the lake rippling or the figure that was slowly emerging from it.

  
When a hand touched Merlin’s shoulder he startled so badly he flung himself a foot away. When he turned around, he couldn’t believe his eyes: there, standing in a full set of armor, gold hair plastered to his forehead, was Arthur. Merlin started to shake his head wildly.

  
“Arthur? God. You can’t be here. This can’t be real, you can’t be real. I’ve lost it, I’m hallucinating, I’ve finally lost it,” Merlin mumbles, still shaking disbelievingly but not able to tear his eyes away. The figure before him hesitantly steps forward, concern clearly written on his face.

  
“Merlin it’s me. It’s Arthur, I’m here.” When Merlin refused to stop shaking his head, gasping for breath, Arthur steps forward until there are only a few inches between them and firmly grasps the other’s arms.

  
“ _Mer_ lin, look at me. I didn’t climb out of a bloody lake for you to pass out on me,” Arthur quips, forcing Merlin’s chin up to look him in the eyes. Merlin raised his eyes, taking in truly for the first time the blue of Arthur’s eyes, a shade he had forgotten no matter how hard he tried to recreate it. Slowly, he raised his hand to Arthur’s face, feeling the soft skin of his jaw, the dampness of his hair, the coldness of his armor.

  
“But… how? You were gone for _years_ Arthur, hundreds and thousands of years! I waited for you all this time and you never came! It was said you would come when Albion’s need was greatest but what could be worse than the things I’ve seen? All of the wars, the loss, the destruction, _so much death_ , why _now_?” Merlin cried, tears running freely down his face now, hiccuping in his fight for steady breath.

  
Arthur shifted, looking nervously at the now clear sky before back at the sobbing warlock in his arms.

  
“Albion’s all but gone now. You’re all that’s left of Camelot, of the world we built together. It wasn’t until you needed me the most that I could cross over, and Merlin I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I left you alone, I’m sorry that you’ve been alone for years, I’m sorry that you had to wait for so long. I tried to get to you, I really did but I couldn’t. Until today,” Arthur says, desperately clutching at Merlin. It was at this declaration that Merlin fell into Arthur, arms wrapped around him so tightly it was hard for Arthur to breathe, but he said nothing and just held Merlin tighter in return. Everything was going to be okay now; they were together again at last.

  
And when six months later Arthur kissed Merlin and everything clicked into place, Merlin ignored the faint chuckling that sounded like Kilgharrah gloating in the heavens. He had everything he needed right here in the infuriating, loveable man currently gently leading him to the bedroom.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys I hope you liked this fic! I'm not going to lie, a large part of this was just an excuse to release my Merlin and William Shakespeare idea out of my brain. I also apologize, I'm shit at dialogue so I'm sorry the end is not the same quality as the rest of the fic. Kudos are appreciated and I'd love to hear your thoughts (constructive criticism please) in the comments <3


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